I’ll start with my wife, Catherine. I was lucky enough to come to KU married, and I never would have been able to keep up with what I did in school without her support. Time and time again she’s been a sounding board, and has provided me a sense of balance that I’ve needed, even if it isn’t what I want to hear or think I need. I think as engineers we have a tendency to think we know all the answers, just by applying an analytical process to whatever question we have. Life, as it turns out, is not all that simple though, and this is where she has helped me most. I would also caution anyone against ruling out a significant relationship at an early age. Catherine and I started dating when we were 18, and I almost foolishly walked away from our relationship early on because I had it in my head that I didn’t want to get married until I was in my mid 20’s. Looking back, I don’t know where I came up with the idea, but it was dumb, and I’m glad she was able to talk me out of that one.
Next I’ll talk about my children. I’ll say that next to Catherine, they are absolutely the most important thing in my life. If you have children, make sure you make them a priority. Particularly in engineering work it’s easy to get distracted away from them, but as the father of a 10 year old boy, I can tell you that the years go by faster than you may think. A lot of things that get obsessed over in the day to day grind of your work don’t tend to seem as important looking back. That isn’t to say that you shouldn’t do well at your job, but I caution you to keep everything in perspective. Just looking back at my time at KU, I remember sledding with my children at Centennial Park (a great place to sled fyi), or watching my kids’ gymnastics lessons at the East Lawrence Rec Center more than I’ll ever remember how I did on a Strength of Materials exam, or how good any of my concrete projects were. I can tell you with certainty what I perceived to have priority at the time however, and my wife remembers too. Fortunately she’s always able to remind me of what’s really important, so I don’t look back with too many regrets. I know a lot of people a few years older than myself that can’t say the same thing.
The last thing I’ll talk about is taking care of people in your workplace. As engineers, I think we’re often place in charge of people much earlier than one might expect. Taking of these people has to be a top priority. If you take care of your people, they will take care of you. It sounds real easy, but there will always be things at work competing for time you could invest in taking care of people. I would caution you to take the time and remember to balance the work. You can’t do it all as a supervisor, as much as you may try. Talk to people that work for you. Find out about where they’re from and what their interests are. Meet their families and get to know who is working for you. You might even find out in this process that they’re able to take some of your workload you thought you had to do all on your own. I’ve had the privilege of seeing the leadership style that values the employee as a person, and the one that doesn’t. I recommend the former if you want to be successful, that style is the only one that works.
I’ll say in closing this has been an amazing 5 weeks writing these connections pieces. I hope they were somewhat useful no matter where you are in the engineering world. I realize my perspective is a little different, but I have enjoyed writing about where I’m at, both in my job and in my life. I saved what I’m writing about here for last, because I truly believe it’s most important. I can’t stress the role of balance enough when it comes to success both in engineering and in life. Thanks so much for reading. I can’t put into words how proud I am to be a SELF and how privileged I feel grouped in with such a terrific group of engineers.
Thanks again!